How long do we grieve?

http://mariashriver.com/blog/2013/01/how-long-do-we-grieve-claire-bidwell-smith

Blessings.....

Blessings always look small
if we hold them in our hands.
But if we learn to share them,
we realize how great & Precious they are!

The Astronomer

An Astronomer used to walk every night to gaze upon the stars.  It happened one night that, with his whole thoughts rapt up in the skies, he fell into a well.  One who heard his cries ran up to him and said:

"While you are trying to pry into the mysteries of heaven, you overlook the common objects under your feet."

Moral lesson: We should never look so high as to miss seeing the things that are around us.

A List to Live by:

- Most destructive habit: WORRY
- Greatest Joy: GIVING
- Greatest loss: LOSS of SELF-RESPECT
- Most Satisfying Work: HELPING OTHERS 
- Most Endangered Species: DEDICATED
                                             LEADERS
- Greatest Problem to Overcome: FEAR
- Most Effective Sleeping Pill: PEACE Of 
                                                   MIND
- Most Powerful Force in Life: LOVE
- Greatest Asset: FAITH
- Most Beautiful Attire: SMILE
- Most Prized Possession: INTEGRITY
- Most Important in Life: GOD

8 Tremendously Important Ways That Gratitude Can Change Your Life

By Leo Babauta

It's amazing how one simple, easy, positive action can change so much in a person's life.

One of the things that has had the biggest effect on my life is the realization of the power of gratitude. Simply giving thanks.

It has affected everything. It has made me a more positive person. A more productive person. A better achiever. A better husband and father and son and brother (at least, I like to think so). A happier person. I'm not perfect, but gratitude has made me better.

Can it change your life as well? I can guarantee it. You might not get the exact same benefits as I have, but there's no doubt in my mind that the simple act of gratitude on a regular basis will change anyone's life, positively and immediately. How many other changes can claim to be that quick, that easy, and that profound?

Let's take a look at some of the ways you can incorporate gratitude into your life, and how it will change your life. These are just some examples, based on my experience and the experiences of others I've talked with, and not all will apply to your life. But pick and choose the ones you think will work for you.

1. Have a morning gratitude session. Take one minute in the morning (make it a daily ritual) to think of the people who have done something nice for you, to think of all the things in your life you're grateful for. You won't get to everything in one minute, but it's enough. And it will instantly make your day better, and help you start your day off right. Can you think of a better use of one minute?

2. When you're having a hard day ... make a gratitude list. We all have those bad days sometimes. We are stressed out from work. We get yelled at by someone. We lose a loved one. We hurt a loved one. We lose a contract or do poorly on a project. One of the things that can make a bad day much better is making a list of all the things you're thankful for. There are always things to be thankful for -- loved ones, health, having a job, having a roof over your head and clothes on your back, life itself.

3. Instead of getting mad at someone, show gratitude. That's a major switching of attitudes -- actually a complete flip. And so this isn't always easy to do. But I can promise you that it's a great thing to do. If you get mad at your co-worker, for example, because of something he or she did ... bite your tongue and don't react in anger. Instead, take some deep breaths, calm down, and try to think of reasons you're grateful for that person. Has that person done anything nice for you? Has that person ever done a good job? Find something, anything, even if it's difficult. Focus on those things that make you grateful. It will slowly change your mood. And if you get in a good enough mood, show your gratitude to that person. It will improve your mood, your relationship, and help make things better. After showing gratitude, you can ask for a favor -- can he please refrain from shredding your important documents in the future? And in the context of your gratitude, such a favor isn't such a hard thing for the co-worker to grant. 

4. Instead of criticizing your significant other, show gratitude. This is basically the same as the above tactic, but I wanted to point out how gratitude can transform a marriage or relationship. If you constantly criticize your spouse, your marriage will slowly deteriorate -- I promise you. It's important to be able to talk out problems, but no one likes to be criticized all the time. Instead, when you find yourself feeling the urge to criticize, stop and take a deep breath. Calm down, and think about all the reasons you're grateful for your spouse. Then share that gratitude, as soon as possible. Your relationship will become stronger. Your spouse will learn from your example -- especially if you do this all the time. Your love will grow, and all will be right in the world.

5. Instead of complaining about your kids, be grateful for them. Many parents (myself included) get frustrated with their children. They are too slow to do things, they have a bad attitude, they can't clean up after themselves, and they pick their nose too much. Unfortunately, sometimes parents will communicate that frustration to their children too often, and the kids will begin to feel bad about themselves. Many parents have done this, and while it's not perfect, it's a part of parenthood. But there's a better way: follow the method above of calming down when you're frustrated, and thinking of reasons you're grateful to your child. Share these reasons with your child. And then take the opportunity to teach them, instead of criticizing them.

6. When you face a major challenge, be grateful for it. Many people will see something difficult as a bad thing. If something goes wrong, it's a reason to complain, it's a time of self-pity. That won't get you anywhere. Instead, learn to be grateful for the challenge -- it's an opportunity to grow, to learn, to get better at something. This will transform you from a complainer into a positive person who only continues to improve. People will like you better and you'll improve your career. Not too shabby.

7. When you suffer a tragedy, be grateful for the life you still have. I've recently lost an aunt, and my children recently lost a grandmother. These tragedies can be crippling if you let them overcome you. And while I'm not saying you shouldn't grieve -- of course you should -- you can also take away something even greater from these tragedies: gratitude for the life you still have. Appreciation for the fleeting beauty of life itself. Love for the people who are still in your life. Take this opportunity to show appreciation to these people, and to enjoy life while you can.

8. Instead of looking at what you don't have, look at what you do have. Have you ever looked around you and bemoaned how little you have? How the place you live isn't your dream house, or the car you drive isn't as nice as you'd like, or your peers have cooler gadgets or better jobs? If so, that's an opportunity to be grateful for what you already have. It's easy to forget that there are billions of people worse off than you -- who don't have much in the way of shelter or clothes, who don't own a car and never will, who don't own a gadget or even know what one is, who don't have a job at all or only have very menial, miserable jobs in sweatshop conditions. Compare your life to these people's lives, and be grateful for the life you have. And realize that it's already more than enough, that happiness is not a destination -- it's already here.

[Leo Babauta is the owner of ZenHabits.net, a website devoted to providing clear and concise wisdom on how to simplify your life. He's also the author of, The Power of Less: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential, in Business and in Life.]

Letter from Bob Proctor - Money is not the Goal

Hi Friend,

One of the key concepts to creating wealth is to understand that
money is not the goal. That's right, I said, money is not the goal.

Frequently people will tell me that they want to make money.
However, I know it is not money they are really after. It is the
things that money can buy and the freedom of time to do what they
really want. While you may think this is an insignificant
difference, it is actually the reason so many people never become
wealthy.

Most of us were taught throughout our childhood that the whole
point of making money is to sock it away and build our own 'nest
egg'. We think of this as a type of insurance against bad fortune,
accidents or old age when we can no longer work. The wealthy know
that money only works when it is in motion - not when it's sitting
in a bank account. You must understand that wealth is an ongoing
journey of growth and circulation and if that circulation is
stopped, then the flow of money will cease.

While it may seem that there are many roadblocks on your journey to
wealth, the only real obstacle is what you believe, think, and feel
about money. Most of us were raised with the cliché "Seeing is
Believing" which is a skeptical and negative view of life. Still,
we hear it our whole lives until it becomes a part of our thought
process without our even realizing it. Wealthy people understand
that this cliché is exactly backward - you must believe in what you
can achieve before you will see it happen in your life. They know
that "Believing is Seeing." The only thing that separates a
millionaire from you right now is a wealthy mindset and the
foundation of that mindset is belief.

Does this mean that the wealthy have some special skill or
knowledge? No - but they do possess some key characteristics that
help them become wealthy.

The first of these characteristics is a willingness to listen to
their own heart. If you could become wealthy by listening to the
masses, then the masses would be wealthy and they are not. It is a
natural tendency to ask the opinions of those we love or respect.
Unfortunately, we listen to their comments and biases not taking
into account the results in their own lives. We make a decision to
listen based on our emotional attachment rather than by looking at
what they have achieved. How can anyone who has not accumulated
wealth advise you on how to do it? They can't.

A second characteristic of the wealthy is the ability to act when
opportunities present themselves. Opportunity is often imagined to
be something that you can't miss or pass up. However, I know from
personal experience that opportunity is often only a whisper that
comes during some of the most trying times of life. If you read the
life stories of very wealthy and successful people, you will
frequently find they were fired from jobs, kicked out of school or
dealt with significant personal tragedies that other people would
view as devastating. Instead, they viewed the challenges as
opportunities and prospered.

The wealthy also understand that wealth is an ongoing process. It
is not a destination you arrive at one day and then stop. It is
also rarely accomplished overnight - although it can occur in a
short period of time. However, if you gain wealth before you have
gained a wealthy mindset then you are in danger of losing that
wealth forever. We have all heard of those that win the lottery
only to be near penniless a few years later. Since they were  never
taught to think wealthy, they have very little chance of achieving
wealth that lasts and ultimately they lose what money they have.

Those with a wealthy mindset do what they love - and make money at
it. Often I see individuals who are seeking wealth like it's
something outside that they have to search for. In reality, wealth
exists within you. You have activities and hobbies that you love
and you can make these into your business if you choose to. Those
who are successful and create a great deal of wealth do so because
they are doing something they love. The money follows and is just a
logical result of them realizing their dream. Money is not the
dream.

Whether you grow up in the worst circumstance or have every
advantage, you have the exact same potential inside of you to
create the life you want. No matter how many times you read or hear
someone talk about how to become wealthy, your life will never
change until you believe that it can - Believing is Seeing.

To your success,
Bob Proctor

Change your attitude, change your life.

Famous pastor and author Charles Swindoll says, " this may shock you, but I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day to day basis is my choice of attitude. When my attitudes are right, there is no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me."

A Morning Prayer

Oh Holy Spirit, at the beginning of this day, take away all burdens from my heart and fill it with joy.

The Debt Sentence

JUST what does the statement “Crime does not pay” mean?

“Crime doesn’t pay” is focused on the risk involved in “crime.” If you involve yourself in criminal activity, there is an inherent risk in getting caught. The higher the payout of the crime, the higher the risk of getting caught. Consequently, the higher the sentence.

Therefore if you get caught “crime doesn’t pay.” Simply put, lawbreakers do not benefit from their actions, and they always suffer the consequences later. In fact, most of the criminals get caught at the time they are nearing their golden years. The ironical thing is that due to the degree of the crime they committed, they are given life imprisonment (reclusion perpetua) or even worse, the maximum penalty which is the death sentence. Examples of heinous crimes that are punishable by death are illegal drugs trafficking, and murder,

What if the crime of a person is non payment of his debt? Is there a punishment? Sad to say there is none as of now. There is no one who has been imprisoned for not paying his debt. There are stories of people getting killed over unpaid debt. There is truth to the adage, “Debt is death to those who mismanage it.” Once I overheard one statement that goes like this, “Debt sounds like death. It might be the cause of your death.” Actually, the Bible has this to say:

Psalm 37:21 “T he wicked borrows and does not pay back, but the righteous is gracious and gives.”

If there is a death sentence for heinous crime against a fellow human being, there is also an equivalent penalty for no payment of debt to the creditor. It is the debt sentence.  The most accurate description of a penalty of being a debtor is found in Proverbs 22:7 “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.”

This makes sense. Years ago, a friend in need approached me and borrowed money. When it was time to pay, he was always nowhere to be found. He mysteriously disappeared. Then I realized I had power over him. He was afraid to see me face to face. Even if he is not physically my slave, mentally, he has become a slave not to me but to money. His fear of facing me has become his punishment. Worse, he just destroyed in just a short period of time the credibility he has built over the years.  The consequence of his action exceeds the value of the money he owed.

One of the most common personal finance crimes is to use the credit card and pay the minimum amount due. Credit card is a good financial tool. Used properly, it can be your slave. Abused properly, it can be your biggest problem. It is highly possible that majority does not know how credit cards can work against them. Innocence of the law excuses no one. The same holds true for personal finance.

Let us say the debt is P10,000. The minimum amount payable is P500 and interest pegged at 3.5 percent per month on the balance. Without considering other fees, it will take 33 months and P16,400 to pay off the original debt. Including the other hidden fees will result to a lifetime payment (like life imprisonment) and a never-ending accumulation of debt due to it’s compounding effect.

Most of the time, when people borrow money, they have a bad habit of using their home as collateral. According to Proverbs 22:26-27 “Do not be a man who strikes hands in pledge or puts up security for debts; if you lack the means to pay, your very bed will be snatched from under you”.

This verse makes perfect sense. I had a friend who loans out money in exchange for real estate property as collateral. Often times, the borrower would default on his payment. Then later, the borrower will be ejected  after the court judged in favor of the lender. The borrower has no choice but give up his property and look for house for rent. Instead of saving more money, he will be renting his shelter for the rest of his life, which is also equivalent to life imprisonment.

The penalty for committing a crime depends on its degree. The higher the degree, the bigger the punishment. However, all of the penalties translate to one thing: loss of freedom. With debt, one also loses his financial freedom. He will always be running after money to pay his debtors. He will, apparently be the perpetual slave of money and also of his debtors. If innocence of the law excuses no one, then the only solution to avoid the debt sentence is not to be financially innocent . If crime does not pay, then it pays to invest in financial education!

Edmund Lao is a Registered Financial Planner of RFP Philippines. To learn more about personal financial planning, attend the RFP program Batch 29 on October 13 to December 8. For more details, please e-mailinfo@rfp.ph or visit www.rfp.ph.

source: http://www.businessmirror.com.ph/home/banking-a-finance/31896-the-debt-sentence

God does not.....

In life, God does not give you the people you want.  

He gives you the people you need.

To teach you.
To hurt you.
To love you.
To make you laugh, and to make you exactly the person you should be.

Be fully enlightened .