Sunday, January 25, 2015

Go home and do nothing




I have something important to share with you married folks with children: consider everyday life realities.
You need two hours to go to work and two and half hours to get back home. This is a terrible and stressful reality for urban dwellers in Manila who have no choice but to crawl through the main city artery called EDSA.
Experts say that when an economy booms, traffic increases. More cars are purchased, more buildings are constructed but road sizes remain the same. Sometimes, I hit the road as early as 5:30 a.m. to avoid traffic yet cars are already flooding the streets and yes, there are impending political campaigns and parades that will soon compete for road spaces.
There are many who do not want to visit Manila. I remember, some of my friends in Bacolod told me this: “Francis, here in Bacolod, when we have to stop our cars in front of the traffic lights waiting for the go signal, we complain and claim that it is already traffic.” I got the same sentiments from my friends in General Santos City and Davao.
Now, we wake up in the morning then we rush to work. We “rush” everything we do.
We have appointments to make, deadlines to meet, and conferences to attend. So we rush through the day and then go home, stressed out and tired but still, there are emails and Skype calls to answer from colleagues in another country with a different time zone. Finally, we grab a few hours of sleep, then wake and repeat the cycle. This is modern day life.
They say that technology will help simplify our lives, but I am not too sure about that. The more technology we have, the better and faster we are expected to perform.
This is why I would like to suggest something that is radical and necessary.
I would like you to consider a certain day in a week when you can go home early and do nothing.
That’s right. Take the afternoon off. Beat the rush hour. Go home and do nothing.
If you really desire a better life, it doesn’t take huge, dramatic overnight change and you don’t have to purchase more apps or use technology to help you. All you need is to do little things differently. But the thing here is that these little things I want you to do will cause such a huge change and improvement in your personal and professional life.
Your business is important. Your career is essential. This is no longer a debatable fact. You need to make sure that your business life and personal life aren’t tangled. Do not use your business as an extension or basis of your personal life. If you succeed in one but fail in the other, there might be damages to your system and eventually, both may suffer.
The people in our personal arena really matter. We practically spend more time at work and outside the home than we do with the people who matter the most to us. This is why I would like you to go home early and do nothing once in a while.
Do everything that can improve your life connections with the people who care for you the most.
Your contracts, proposals and your climb to fame and fortune can wait until tomorrow. For just one day, set your priorities aside and go home early.
Spend time with your kids doing nothing but silly things that make them laugh. They will remember these moments for the rest of their lives. There is another time for sermon. What your kids want from you is your attention and praise. Tell stories. Urge them to tell you their stories. Laugh, reach out and love.
Perhaps, there are relationships to work on; there might be instances that made a family member drift away from you. Use the extra time to reach out. Swallow your pride and strengthen your life. You don’t have to miss all of these; business will be there tomorrow.
Just go home and do nothing. And when you really think about it, it’s not really nothing.

Monday, January 19, 2015

The power of confidence



I attended the TedxManila event a few days ago, not as a speaker but as a participant. My son, Bryan, together with his band mate, Siops, did a talk on music and technology.

Their lead singer, Sara, completed the presentation by singing a new song of their own composition.

It was a very good presentation. And the key element that made the presentation good was because of the confidence they have shown.

Perhaps, it’s because their group named “Taken by Cars” has performed in many places not only here but also abroad. Or they have really taken the desire to do a good presentation right to the heart. And so they practiced hard and developed the confidence to present well.

Confidence is key. What makes me confident today?

I wouldn’t stand in front of many people to speak if I don’t have the confidence. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that building confidence should start as early as childhood. And it starts with something as simple as always handing things to an adult using two hands. This Asian custom always gives a good impression.
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Confidence is important because it sets the tone.

Confidence creates favorable impressions that build up your public image. Confidence is not cockiness. Cockiness is for people with shallow minds and empty hearts camouflaging their insecurities. True confidence comes from the inside.

To create a good first impression while exuding confidence, here are some suggestions:

Dress appropriately for the occasion. Casual clothes are for casual occasions. And if the occasion is not casual, do not wear casual.

Hand things like business cards, pens, etc. using two hands.

And when somebody gives you his or her card, take time to study the details printed on the card. Do not just casually put the card away.

Shake hands firmly.

Make sure you pack with you the following tools:

Courtesy. Always be polite.

Attentiveness. Listening makes you a great conversationalist.

Being pleasant. There is power in charm.

Confidence. Do not be cocky.

Preparedness. You do not want to waste other people’s time by being sloppy with your work.

Consistency. Be constant in what you say and what you do.

Being positive. Do not relish in giving negative comments.

And most important of all, do not try to be somebody you are not, this is hard to live up to, just always be yourself.

And if you cannot exercise the suggestions given, then I would highly recommend that you spend more time working on your attitude and character.

This simply means you lack the confidence needed to create a positive impression. Read books on personal growth. Get a mentor. Attend seminars. But most importantly, be the person God wants you to be. Seek constant improvement and remember, the more you learn, the more confident you become.

And above all, consider others better than yourself. True humility is the most convincing evidence of confidence.